What joy to see another triumph of administrative excellence and transparency played out before us over the past few days!
You would think that the governing body of Scottish Football might know a thing or two about organising football competitions, and working serenely in association (pun intended) with its members.
You would assume that they might have noticed at some point in their near-143 years of glorious achievement that people like to go and watch matches. Yes that’s right, even in the desolate post-Armageddeon landscape, folk have been known to make take time off work, make travel arrangements, and perhaps even book overnight accommodation in order to go to a football match. All of which takes advanced planning and requires a bit of notice.
You might also expect that in the course of running of one of the world’s longest-standing tournaments the SFA would have perfected the art of ensuring that Scottish Cup ties are scheduled to be played at suitable venues, which are available on the required date, so that people who want to go and see some football can actually do so.
But no. That would seem to be akin to expecting to have the moon on a stick.
It turns out that finding somewhere to play the televised match between East Kilbride and Celtic – a classic Cup fixture with potential to raise the profile of Scottish football as a whole – actually IS rocket science.
Which is handy really. Because Stewart Regan and his staff were already wandering around Cape Hampden in spacesuits, feverishly working on their next amazing project: to twin with the Football Associations of The Outer Planets.
And they are making good progress! In fact they already have a slogan for the mission:
“Making An Arse Of It: To Uranus And Beyond”.
At the very least, they are hoping to make it as far as Airdrie…
Meanwhile however, the SFA has issued a full explanation of why the East Kilbride v Celtic game WON’T be played at New Douglas Park, but will instead take place at the Excelsior Stadium [where a charity game was scheduled to take place!]
Excelsior Stadium to host East Kilbride vs Celtic
Tuesday, 26 January 2016
Following discussions with East Kilbride FC, the Scottish FA Board have approved the Excelsior Stadium as the host venue for the William Hill Scottish Cup fifth-round match between East Kilbride and Celtic on Sunday, 7 February.
Never mind. At least we can take comfort from knowing that the SFA doesn’t have a permanent seat in the body that creates the laws of football for the entire world, and doesn’t have a one-in-four chance of getting one of its top people appointed as the British Vice-President of FIFA.
Imagine the hilarity that could ensue.