Chris Jack’s long reign as ‘King of the Intros’ may be coming to an end.
Because Matthew Lindsay has seemingly launched a coup to try and usurp him, with one of the most laughable introductions to an article The Clumpany has read in some time. And I read a lot of articles!
Frankly, I was initially impressed that Matthew was able to take time out from his legal practice, having offered us this remarkable insight yesterday:
But I digress. It is the introduction to this morning’s piece which is really worth a look. And here it is in all its glory:
“RONNY Deila last night dismissed suggestions that Celtic were wrong to sanction Anthony Stokes’s loan move to Hibs – due to the fact the striker could help to prevent Rangers from winning promotion to the Premiership.
Stokes, who has featured just twice for Celtic all season, has joined the Edinburgh club until the end of the 2015/16 campaign and is set to play for them in a Championship match against St. Mirren at Easter Road this afternoon.
The switch has been queried by many in Scottish football because Hibs are currently vying with Rangers, who are just five points clear in the second tier table with 16 games remaining, for a place in the top flight.”
In the words of noted philosopher and keen gardener, Alistair Murdoch McCoist MBE: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It’s quite a revelation to read that ‘many in Scottish football’ are querying the motivation for Celtic to send an out-of-favour player to another club. A club which he chose to go to, having considered several other options.
Matthew does not name THESE PEOPLE, which leads The Clumpany to wonder if the assertion was simply a device around which to write an article which would ‘speak’ to Upset Ursines [also known as Bealin’ Bears] in Sevconia. And let’s face it, there isn’t exactly a shortage of those about at the moment.
Because Celtic are CLEARLY going to spend their time, and deploy playing resources to try and stop Sevco being promoted. And they are obviously going to do it via a dastardly plot which centres on…err… loaning one unwanted player to their nearest Championship rivals. And so soon after they strengthened Hibernian by…errr… buying Scott Allan from them.
Mr Lindsay reminds us that “Peter Lawwell, the Celtic chief executive, last season admitted the Ibrox club’s absence from the Premiership costs the Parkhead club £10 million every financial year” … as if that somehow suggests that conspiring to help Hibs is a stupid exercise in cutting off Celtic’s nose to spite their face.
It is utterly bonkers stuff, which Ronny Deila rightly dismisses in the rest of the article, pointing out that “I want to have the best teams in the top division, but I don’t care who comes up”.
The notion of other clubs simply going about their business and not actively trying to do-down Sevco seems to be completely out of fashion at the moment. As the recently-established, deleted and re-established Bears Fightback site seems to demonstrate: everything wrong in Sevconia is ALWAYS someone else’s fault. The folk in charge would surely have taken one Ibrox club or another to a destiny of global domination had it not been for the wicked conspiracy of ‘haters’ and bigots.
This is of course a complete torrent of crap. But you get the impression that some folk really believe it. And they were doubtless nodding their heads in agreement when they read the introduction to Mr Lindsay’s latest piece.
They were probably also delighted yesterday when they read about Leigh Griffths being asked to comment on the goal-scoring exploits of lower-tier Penalty King, Martyn ‘Another from the Spot’ Waghorn…
You really have to laugh at the unrelenting commitment of parts of the media to shoehorn ANY sort of ‘equivalence’ between Celtic and Sevco into their pieces.
But thankfully, Griffiths refused to play the game and simply replied
“[The entirely fictitious ‘competition’ from Waghorn] doesn’t bother me. I’m playing in the top league but he’s doing well for Rangers* and he can only do what he’s doing, same as me”.
Careful now, Leigh. Your comments might up being “queried by many in Scottish football”…