Media, Scottish Football, Sevco

Should the UN Security Council Impose Sanctions on Livingston Football Club?


No doubt about it, a red card offence
Good Evening (and please vote ‘Clumpany’ by 30 October!).

The Clumpany read this piece in the Evening Shark-Jump today with some interest:

On loan Tottenham Hotspur winger Nathan Oduwa was on the end of a series of challenges as Rangers beat Livingston at Ibrox on Tuesday night

It was the latest in the ‘Times Talker’ series, in which various Titans of Scottish sports journalism battle it out over the ‘hot topic’ of the day. Committed Clumpaneers may remember me reviewing an earlier installment of it wherein the troubling topic of quite how long Sevco’s winning streak in the league could continue was discussed.

Today’s written ‘Celebrity Depth Match’ focused on the events of last night’s Sevco-Livingston game in the Perpetual Failure Cup, which was the subject of this morning’s Clumpany blog…

The latest ‘Times Talker is a gripping read! And apparently there is going to be a follow-up piece, which I can ‘exclusively reveal’ below…

Should the UN Security Council Impose Sanctions on Livingston Football Club?

YES! Says most of the Scottish Sports Media…

“Former City Trader Mark Warburton – who has made a stellar, Struthesque start to his Ibrox career – says his players deserve ‘protection’.

And that is what they MUST receive!


In fact, they should have rose petals thrown before them by the referee as they walk the ball into the goal. At which point choirs of angels should burst into Heavenly song. 

Furthermore, former City Trader Mark Warburton should be awarded ‘Manager of the Year’ every day.

It is utterly appalling that Livingston’s players didn’t bow before the might of former City Trader Mark Warburton’s revolution last night. It doesn’t matter whether the referee was at fault for not sending off Kieran Gibbons after the earthquake-causing assault on Oduwa, Livingston shouldn’t even have been on the pitch to try and compete with Warbo’s Wonders in the first place.

Their cheek is an absolute outrage. An affront to former City Trader Mark Warburton, and all who believe in the destiny of his team.

This matter should be taken up at the highest level of international diplomacy, with the British Ambassador to the UN tabling a Resolution calling for sanctions against Livingston and indeed any other team who doesn’t roll over before The Warburton Juggernaut. 

Scottish football teams should beware! They have laid themselves open to precision Flair Strikes, and former City Trader Mark Warburton has the players to deliver them.”

No! Says…. [Editor’s Note: no one in the Scottish Sports media could be found to argue against UN sanctions.]


NB For the avoidance of doubt, The Clumpany thinks the first-minute tackle on Nathan Oduwa last night was awful and merited a red card. But calling for referees to ‘protect’ players such as him is a nonsense. It would be far more sensible to complain to the SFA about last night’s referee getting that particular sending-off decision wrong. We need better referees, not ‘special dispensation’ for certain ‘flair’ players.

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