The Clumpany loves to hear about major engineering projects being completed. Even if they are a bit overdue.
There’s something very special about seeing a complex programme being delivered against the odds, and then witnessing the benefits it can bring to mankind.
So there was considerable excitement in Clumpany Towers this morning when it became apparent that the Daily Record had fixed its faulty radar at long last!
Clumpaneers will be all-too aware that the Daily Record’s radar famously failed to pick up the true extent of Craig Whyte’s wealth in 2011, and managed not to spot the implications of Rangers’ tax bills, or the prospect of the club going to its death.
Since Charles Green founded Sevco, the Record’s radar has even managed to lose track of Rangers’ death, despite everyone seeing it at the time and remembering that it happened.
It has also failed to pick up numerous opportunities to ask awkward questions of the SPFL, SFA and numerous Sevco regimes.
It even managed not to register quite how poor a football manager Ally McCoist was.
To be fair, other media outlets’ radar equipment has been malfunctioning in similar ways these past few years. However, they have the advantage of not having mentioned ‘radar’ when running one of the most ludicrously incorrect stories in the history of Scottish sports journalism.
But the Record has finally got the problem sorted! Having engaged the finest engineers in the land, the necessary repairs have been made.
Of course, being a modest newspaper, the Record didn’t like to shout about the achievement this morning, and instead focused on using it for the benefits of us all…
Yes folks, the Record has come over all ‘Sherlock Holmes’ and has “tracked down” Imran Ahmad to his mum’s house in Karachi, Pakistan. Whereupon he apparently politely declined not to engage in conversation.
We await further news of Imran Ahmad, but now we know that the Record’s radar is working again, we can presumably look forward to it finding
- Dave King’s over-investment.
- The new RIFC Nomad.
- Answers from the SPFL and SFA about the way our game is governed.
- A will to investigate the ‘intriguing way that the Lord Nimmo Smith Commission was set up and provided with information; and also the issues raised by Celtic shareholders’‘Resolution 12’.
- A sense of perspective about a cobbled-together team winning matches in the second tier of the Scottish game.
I’m looking forward to this!