Scottish Football, Sevco

The Humility-Free Zone

It can’t be long before we are told that Sevco actually beat St Johnstone in the League Cup
Good Morning.

In the normal course of events most football matches are largely forgotten after a week. You will probably remember the result and any particular striking incidents, but otherwise the game will fade into the recesses of the memory and be filed alongside thousands of others.

Of course, some results will stay at the forefront of your mind for a bit longer, even if the game wasn’t all that significant in the grand scheme of things. You would, for example, required a will of iron not to find mirth in the on-pitch calamities which have befallen baselessly-swaggering tribute act Sevco FC since its creation in 2012.

So their thumping defeat to St Johnstone last week following a series of media drool-inducing wins against lower-league opposition, was always likely to make us laugh for a little bit longer than other recent results in Scotland.

But the chances are that even the more ‘interested’ observers of Sevco would ordinarily have ‘moved on’ by now. [No, really. After all, we aren’t exactly short of Sevcomedy to guffaw at, are we?]

However, we have not been allowed to move on. And that is entirely because everyone at Sevco (with the possible exception of Baron Bouffant) has been having an extraordinarily difficult time dealing with the defeat.

A REALLY seriously hard time.

And – typically unable to deal with the prospect of appearing somewhat less-than ‘all-conquering’ to those who should ‘fear’ them – they have chosen to work through their grief in public. Via the medium of journalists who are well-schooled in regurgitating any old Sevco crap.

And so it is that we have had the following comments and excuses over the past week.

  • The Warbmeister suggesting St Johnstone had more “random luck” during the game.
  • Warbo repeatedly stating that the gap between the top two tiers of Scottish football isn’t that great despite being his team being pumped by St Johnstone.
  • David Weir claiming that Sevco’s League Cup exit might actually be a “good thing”.
  • His Needy Warbliness insisting that his side deserved more respect from the media following their good start to the lower-league season.
  • Barkin’ Foghorn also stating that the gap between the Premiership and Championship isn’t that great, and talking up the prospects of Sevco challenging for the top-tier title next season, and qualifying for the Champions League.

And as if all that wasn’t enough, today we have Sevco captain Lee Wallace talking about last week’s defeat being a “freak result”, and referring to “disrespect”.

Lee Wallace: Rangers have got ‘freak’ St Johnstone result out of their system after Morton win

Take it away Lee…

“It was a freak result, the way we look at it. It is one we analysed the day after and we quickly learned from.

“That is the difference now, we are looking to try and dissect these instances and it is a new experience for the squad, and a young squad that are having to deal with defeat, deal with criticism, and disrespect.”

They really are struggling to cope aren’t they? Heaven forbid Sevco and the King Warbolution should encounter any further obstacles on the road to universal domination otherwise I do believe there could be actual tears before bedtime.

Chin-up everyone!

And remember: if you stop bleating in public, we might stop laughing at you.

For a while…