Scottish Football, SPFL

The Holding Herald

Just ‘paper talk’…

Good Afternoon.

Things just got rather weird.

It seems that for the past few years we have been been living in ignorance of something truly remarkable.

I can’t honestly understand how we missed it…

BEHOLD the miracle of the self-writing newspaper!

Who could have guessed that our impression of a journalist writing an article about the death of Rangers was mistaken and it was actually just THE PAPER that said it?

The Clumpany is no stranger to ethereal entities, but the notion that the journalist is ethereal and it is just the holding newspaper that actually says the words apparently authored by the journalist is quite incredible!

No doubt laws make the paper and editor responsible for what is published, but that doesn’t mean that the words penned by a journalist are not theirs. [NB I am aware that headlines are not usually written by the journalist themselves].

You could be forgiven for wondering whether Martin simply wishes to disassociate himself from an unambiguous front page splash about the death of Rangers. A death that we all witnessed.

Hopefully he will clarify this for our benefit.

Then again, maybe Martin is on to something?

Perhaps Chris Jack, Matthew Lindsay, Gerry Braiden, Keith Jackson, Gordon Waddell, Graham Spiers and Roddy Forsyth et al only exist in the ether?

Perhaps they are simply imaginary constructs in whose name the Holding  Herald, Evening Shark-Jump, Record, Times and Telegraph act.

Who knows, the same might also be true of TV and radio.

Perhaps Neil McCann is just a hologram, and it is Sky Sports that actually rant and wave a rule book?

Maybe Hugh Keevins is a made-up disembodied ‘personality’, and it is actually Clyde SSB who undertake the relentless criticisms of Ronny Deila?

Hang on a minute…

Scrap that.

There is no way anyone could make up Hugh Keevins.

Sorry Martin, on reflection I think you may well be talking pish.


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