Orgasmic Journalism

Good Evening.

The Clumpany rolled around on the floor laughing for several hours this morning after reading a quite spectacular piece from Craig Fowler in the Scotsman.

Before you follow the link to it below, here are some points to remember.

  • Sevco are playing in the second tier of Scottish Football.
  • Their wage bill dwarfs that of all the other teams in the Championship.
  • Their recent signings are a curious mixture of out-of-contract players and journeymen. They are not EPL-style megabucks signings. Or even (in general) people that most of us had heard of before.
  • They have only played 9 competitive games this season. 
  • They haven’t been doing something truly extraordinary like dominating European football for a decade.
  • Sevco’s opponents thus far have included some part-time teams.
  • Although the Warbmeister has done something which appeared beyond the abilities of McCoist by organising a group of players to play an attractive free-flowing brand of football, this isn’t exactly revolutionary.
  • Mark Warburton does not actually possess a magic hat.
  • No really. He doesn’t
  • Craig Fowler included Cammy Bell in his SPFL ‘Team of the Week’ on 26 May, a few days before Motherwell gubbed Sevco 6-1 on aggregate, with Bell providing one of Scottish football’s most memorable moments in recent years.

So here is the piece in question…

Relentless Rangers* refuse to take foot off the gas

What did you think?

Isn’t it amazing?

Literally falling over its own excitement that Sevco are not piss-poor any more!

And – as usual where the MSM is concerned – context (the above-listed factors and the financial concerns around the ‘club’) was apparently on gardening leave when the article was written.

Consequently, the piece really doesn’t help anyone other than Sevconians looking for a fix of positivity.

“Destroying every team in their path”?

“Notching goals like other team’s rack up bookings”?

“Leaves you wanting more even after they have bludgeoned any competitive edge out of the game”?

Dear me, Mr Fowler.

You aren’t even watching Rangers, never mind Barcelona.


Update: 8pm, 8 September 2015. For the avoidance of doubt, I was not intending to suggest that Mr Fowler is a Sevco fan (I am aware that he isn’t!). 

Whilst positive coverage of our game is very welcome [and hats off to Mr Fowler for that!], I was simply amused at the extreme gusto with which the comparatively minor achievements of Sevco to date this season were painted as something extraordinary. 

This is a theme which – one way or another – recurs day after day across the Scottish MSM. And which is discussed with obsessive regularly in this blog!


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