Grieg’s Piano Concerto In A Minor

Good Evening.

One of Morecambe and Wise’s most memorable moments was their 1971 sketch with the famous conductor André Preview…err… Previn.

You probably don’t need me to describe it in detail as it is so ingrained in the collective memory of people across these islands.

However, if you do need a refresher, here it is in all its glory.

What a masterpiece, eh? I love it.
And it’s a comparatively little-known fact that the sketch was a reworking of a similar one from the black and white era in 1963…

But I digress…

The most famous line – which is a truly memorable moment in the history of both British comedy and the BBC – is uttered by Eric Morecambe.

When an exasperated Previn points out that Morecambe is playing all the wrong notes, the world’s most famous Luton Town fan utters the immortal words:

“I’m playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order”.

The Clumpany thought about this quote earlier today when the BBC News at One carried an absolute car crash of a report from Julie Peacock on the current proceedings involving Charles Green and Craig Whyte.

Please do take a moment to watch it, because it is quite something. 


“They [Rangers*] found themselves playing back in the fourth tier of the Scottish divisions.”

“The club had to be completely restructured in a bid to save it from bankruptcy”.

Oh. Dear. Me.

Whatever happened to liquidation?

When did this restructuring happen?

Since when did Scottish companies experience “bankruptcy”?

And I love the idea that ‘Rangers Football Club*’ simply woke up one day and found itself in the bottom tier of senior football.

It would certainly come as quite a shock!

If that had happened to me, I would certainly wonder how many pints I had had the night before, and quite how ‘off’ that greasy kebab had been! 

In a media that has long run scared of telling the truth about Rangers’ liquidation, and which has concocted a ludicrous lexicon to avoid conveying basic facts to Sevconians, this report from the BBC still managed to stand out.

Ms Peacock really did manage to use all of the wrong words and in completely the wrong order.

If that piece was given a scholarship to attend Harvard Business School and then spent a decade with the world’s foremost turd polishers it might just end up being utterly risible.

It was that bad.

My word, does that kind of garbage seriously pass muster in any part of the BBC?

The News Department?

The Business Team?

The Sports Desk?

The canteen?

The sewage pipes?

I am inclined to assume that the hapless reporter simply made a complete arse of it – perhaps under the pressure of live TV.

Because if that isn’t the explanation, then you have to start wondering if there is something truly Orwellian at work here.

Or if the BBC is simply terrified of upsetting Sevco fans.

Whatever the explanation, this was – without question – a new low in the coverage of the Rangers and Sevco sagas.

And that’s an amazing achievement on a par with almost anything the BBC has managed in its long history.

Morecambe and Wise may be long gone, but the BBC’s apparent commitment to top-drawer comedy continues to endure.

Bring me sunshine, and