Release The Dignity Squirrel!


A mere mention of the Dignity Squirrel has the power to disable some people’s critical faculties
Good Afternoon.

We already knew that The Warbmeister is the world’s greatest football manager. The papers have left us in no doubt about that.

But it seems he is also a lightning-fast learner.

He’s only been in the job a short while and he’s already spouting the empty-but-distracting cliches of superiority and ‘specialness’ beloved of those associated with the two clubs to have played out of the Ibrox.

It’s a tried and tested tactic. If someone poses a question or raises an issue that is a little tricky, you simply bristle and release the ‘Dignity Squirrel’.

You  fall back on saying that the ‘club’ is ‘above that sort of thing’, and is beyond reproach.

And just like that the interest of the press pack melts away. No further questions will be asked!

Warbs gave a masterclass in Dignity Squirrelism yesterday when he was asked about Sevco’s high-profile but doomed pursuit of Scott Allan. 

In particular, the suggestion from Alan Stubbs that Sevco might have privately urged Allan to agree a pre-contract deal with them in January.

Warburton defends Rangers’ Allan pursuit after Stubbs comments

Warbo said “I would like to talk about it but I won’t. I clearly believe that as a club have acted with integrity and professionalism throughout the whole saga.”

“So I’m not going to lower ourselves now. I think we’re far better than that.”

“Hopefully we have displayed the right level of professionalism throughout the whole saga.”

You could have just said “No!”, Comrade Warb!

He also told The Scottish Sun

“I think throughout the whole process we’ve acted with integrity and professionalism which is befitting of Rangers Football Club and that won’t change now.”

“We’re far better than that.”

Integrity, eh? 

Befitting of Rangers* Football Club?

Far better than that?

The Warbmeister seems to be another one who hasn’t heard about the army of creditors stiffed by the ‘same club’, or the large number of rules broken by ‘it’.

Still, as long as the veneer of staunchness can be maintained, everyone in Sevconia can carry on regardless.

One possible line of challenge might have been the comments of Baron Bouffant in late June. 

Murray hints at Allan bid

Mr Murray stated that he couldn’t say much about another ‘club’s’ player… before proceeding to speak extensively about Scott Allan and his attributes!

“He’s obviously under contract with someone else so we can’t talk about him in too much detail.”

“But we should be seeking to identify players to our team and our squad and bring them in and add further value to them through what we do here.”

“Scott Allan is an example of a player I personally think is a very good player. His profile is right as a young guy with a lot of potential. He has played quite a lot of football.”

“I think he’s a player a lot of clubs would like to sign. And obviously there have been opportunities (for Rangers) to sign him in the past which have slipped past.”


“Scott, WHO?”

And Alan Stubbs certainly wasn’t best pleased!

But sadly no one in the media felt able to probe The Warbmeister about whether his ‘club’ had indeed maintained the highest standards in their efforts to secure Allan’s services. 

Oh well. Maybe another time…

[*cough cough cough cough cough*]

Maybe it’s just Clumpaneers who possess the ability to remember several pieces of information, make connections between them, and pose tricky questions?

Who knows…

But for now, keep an eye out for the Dignity Squirrel.

It’s on the loose!