The Night of the Living Bread

The Clumpany can’t imagine that we will see the green and white wrapper at Ibrox tonight. For a number of reasons…
Good Morning. 

Once upon a time there was a ‘club’ playing at Ibrox called ‘Rangers’. And during an era of unsustainable spending that ultimately killed them, it famously won a league title on what became known as ‘Helicopter Sunday’.

Indeed it is so famous, that the media had to console the still-grieving fans of the dead club by running articles to mark its 10th Anniversary recently.

But how times have changed. Where once fans of an Ibrox club had ‘Helicopter Sunday’, fans of the new club have…

‘Bread Wrapper Friday’.

Yes folks, as Sevco prepare to kick off their second attempt at getting out of the Championship and into the top flight for the first time, it is rumoured that fans will show support for their amazing, all-conquering new manager Mark ‘Warbmeister’ Warburton by bringing Warburton’s bread wrappers to the game against St Mirren.


Bread wrappers.

You have to admit that the creative genius and collective endeavour that would be required to pull off this Mother(‘s Pride) of all stunts is truly awe-inspiring!

The Clumpany shudders to think what manner of bread-related puns the MSM might run tomorrow.

But it is probably fair to assume that they will be the same ones that Internet Bampots came up with a few weeks ago…

Even the Daily Mail is getting in on the bread frenzy…

Rangers manager Mark Warburton boosts sales of namesake bread in Glasgow

…telling us that

“Rangers supporters have been seen holding Warburtons wrappers in the air at games since the former Brentford boss took over at Ibrox.”

 “Warburtons bread sales have risen by 11.7 per cent in Glasgow”, and that we should

“Expect to see more Warburtons wrappers in the stands when Rangers open their Scottish Championship campaign on Friday”.

The Clumpany laughed at the comment from the Warburtons spokeswoman:

‘We put this down to great taste rather than just the influence of Mark Warburton — but who knows?”.

The Clumpany’s money certainly isn’t on it being anything to do with Sevco fans’ great taste!

The Clumpany is looking forward to seeing if any bread hilarity ensues this evening, but already feels that ‘Bread Wrapper Friday’ isn’t a snazzy enough title.

How about something a little bit more ‘epic’-sounding?

How about ‘Night of the Living Bread’?

They could even turn it into a zombie movie.

Oh, wait…