The Day The Earth Stood Still

“Quieten down everyone. You won’t believe the news I bring…”

Good Morning.

It has finally happened!

The moment that none of us thought we would ever see has arrived!

Almost all of humanity briefly froze in wonderment at the awe-inspiring spectacle, before shaking their heads in disbelief.

In millennia to come, when mankind has gone out amongst the stars and colonised worlds that are currently far beyond the sight of the most powerful telescopes, this moment will still be spoken about with astonishment.

Indeed, it will be taught as Item Number One in the school history curriculum.

“And what is this amazing occurrence?”, I hear the few Clumpaneers who were inexplicably ‘off duty’ say?

Well it wasn’t Sevco apparently taking a step “closer” to achieving a listing for their shares today (although if and when they do appear on the ISDX, it will certainly be a red letter day!).

No, yesterday’s jaw-dropping development was that 

Barry Ferguson ‘wrote’ an article about being manager of Clyde FC!

Barry Ferguson: Cleaning the bogs as a Rangers kid made me a player.. now I’m doing everything to become a top boss with Clyde

Yes, I know. I can’t believe it either.

But it’s true!

And the Daily Record really does deserve to win some awards for bringing us this genuine exclusive!

Barry’s columns in the Record are the stuff of legend. 

The 2008 UEFA Cup Final always gets a mention. The experience, requirements and challenge of ‘playing for a club like Rangers*’ is always covered, and some deeply unimpressive parallel is always drawn between his playing days and the situation du jour at Sevco.

EBTs are never mentioned (Barry has one worth £2.5m) and only once in a Light Blue moon is there a reference to Clyde FC. 

In fact from reading his column you would never really guess that he is their manager.

But yesterday, all that changed!

Barry’s piece extols the virtues of an apprenticeship as a way of learning your trade in football.

It is – to be fair – quite an interesting little insight into some of the minutiae in which a lower-league manager must involve himself.


Barry Ferguson: managing Clyde at a ‘jaunty angle’!
However, the part that The Clumpany most enjoyed was this particular extract:

“It’s why now that I’m cutting my teeth as a manager I have chosen to do it in the lowest tier of Scottish football.

There were other, much easier options. Jobs which might have afforded me a more comfortable transition in the style to which I became accustomed as a player.

But I wanted to get my hands dirty again just like I did when I was scrubbing those toilet seats as a boy.”

What a martyr to the cause!

Keep scrubbing Barry! 

And ‘well played’ on a belated plug for the club you actually manage!



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