When The Warbmeister Sixed All Of Sevco’s Problems…

Good Afternoon.

Regular readers will have seen The Clumpany’s preview of the universe’s most significant ever football match, this morning.
The Hibs-Sevco extravaganza has now taken place…

Well well well. 

Although Hibs should have been well ahead had they taken their chances, and although the concept of ‘defending’ was still on its summer holidays for both teams, and although Hibs had numerous players out…

…Sevco gave them an absolute horsing!

And fair play to them. That’s a very good way to start your season at that level.

[NB For any passing Sevconians, that really is a genuine ‘fair play’ to you. A shame about the songbook though…]

[NB2 For any passing Hibs fans, your season should hopefully improve if Hibs try their best to be a lot less ‘Hibs-like’ from now on(!)]

A 2-6 score line must surely be the signal for the Sevco twins at Herald and Times Towers to run around the building screaming “Oh my f*cking God!!! The Rangers* are coming!” 

Over and over again

For the next month.

And cue a complete meltdown in the rest of the media, with calls for Dave King to be given a Knighthood, for The Warbmeister to be canonised (in a ‘still-living’ and non-Catholic kind of way of course!) and for Paul Murray to be given his own prime-time TV series on male grooming tips!

We can also be pretty sure that the entire Sevco squad will now be linked with big money moves to the English Premier League, or Spain. Or possibly both. 

And we can also be certain that every player in Scotland will now be linked with a move to the all-conquering Sevco Juggernaut!

It is going to be quite a circus!

And while all that noise is going on, no one will have to ask Sevco about their finances, ‘over investment’, listing, Nomad, auditor, or that loan from Sports Direct.

No Siree! 

Because the Scottish sports media only has one interest in life, and that’s a triumphant Sevco. No matter what the cost!

So well done to Sevco on today’s impressive win!

And to our esteemed press pack…please remember to clean up after yourselves. 

Nobody likes to see involuntarily-discharged bodily fluids all over the walls, floors and ceilings.



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