The Clumpany was startled by an absolutely deafening alarm this morning.
A truly ear-splitting, bone-shaking alarm that later prompted me to visit the Clumpany medical wing for a series of X-Rays to make sure I hadn’t fractured anything.
Regular readers will know that Clumpany Towers is no stranger to alarms. There’s always one going off on account of some Sevco-related calamity, or some mess-up by the SFA or SPFL.
But this was different!
This alarm WAS NOT OF CLUMPANY TOWERS!
The Clumpany quickly activated the Clumpany Alarmoscope to track down the source of this incredible din.
The answer came quickly.
An alarm was going off in Herald & Times Towers.
The worst kind of alarm.
It was the ‘Oh My God Someone Has Spoken The Truth About Rangers’ alarm.
A quick check online provided confirmation.
Yes. The Evening Times had stated that everyone’s favourite liquidated club had indeed been… errr… liquidated.
And of course the all-time classic boast that “The war is over, the Rangers men have won”.
Shrewd Clumpaneers quickly picked their jaws up off the floor and said in unison
“That sentence won’t stay there for long”.
And they were right.
Someone seemingly set the Herald & Times calendar to ‘1984’, amended the article, and the Great ‘Liquidation-Mention’ Alarm fell silent.
The Herald & Times’ finest said “Phew!”.
But everyone outside Sevconia simply pointed and laughed at the speed with which a seemingly accidentally-spoken truth was buried.
What joy to live in a liberal democracy with (pretty) free speech, and (general) freedom of the press, only for the sports desks to do all they can to avoid speaking a plain and simple truth! About a football club.
The Clumpany has discussed the MSM’s Freak Show contortionism over Sevco on numerous occasions, and won’t go over the same ground again.
However, suffice it to say that today’s escapade has done nothing to give this particular reader any reason to cease holding parts of the MSM in as much contempt as they apparently hold us.
Thank Heaven the Herald and Evening Times have never run stories about Rangers dying, and their history coming to an end after 140 years.
Otherwise they might look like hypocrites…
Finally, before I Clump off into the ether, it is worth noting the other change that was made to the Evening Times article.
As you can see, it originally said
“…there has been next to nothing in the way of scouting, a problem that as of yet has not been rectified by Dave King”.
But this was then amended to
“…have been operating without a scouting team for several years and the problem was repeatedly highlighted by former manager Ally McCoist”.
I wonder why?
Surely it can’t be the case that as well as not wanting to mention liquidation, the media is also unwilling to say anything remotely critical of Dave King?