The ‘Dare’…

“You don’t mind me being in this picture too, do you Mr Lawwell?”
Good Afternoon.

[Somewhere in UEFA headquarters, a few days ago…]

[Michel Platini’s assistant comes rushing into his office…]

Assistant: “Mr Platini! You’ve had a really important voicemail!”.

Platini: “What?! Have the Confederations unanimously called on me to be the next FIFA President?”.

Assistant: “No, its far more significant than that”.

Platini: [Looking nervous] “Go on, what is it?”.

Assistant: “It’s Mr Lawwell. He has instructions for you”.

Platini: [Gulps] “Oh no… What have I got to do this time?”.

Assistant: “He says it’s your turn to do a ‘dare'”.

Platini: [Slumps back in chair and shakes his head] “Oh my God. I am going to end up doing something ridiculous aren’t I? I should never have got into this game with him. He’s a cunning so-and-so”.

Assistant: “How did it start Monsieur Platini?”.

Platini: “You know how it is. A few drinks, and people get carried away. I dared him to appoint Tony Mowbray as Celtic manager, and he damn well went and did it!”.

Assistant: “Wow! That’s amazing! So what did he dare you to do?”.

Platini: “He dared me to introduce Financial Fair Play! I mean, can you imagine?! I actually had to do it! No one believed it would work, and now I just look more and more ridiculous over it”.

Assistant: “But you did it Sir! Well done!”

Platini: “And I was so pleased with myself that I stupidly set him another dare. A big one that he would never pull off”.

Assistant: “Blimey! What was it?”

Platini: “I dared him to engineer an elaborate plot to bring Rangers to their knees. And do you know something?”.

Assistant: “What?”

Platini: “He accepted the dare without hesitation or a flicker of doubt”.

Assistant: “What a guy!”.

Platini: “And he pulled it off. Amazing! He’s not a man I would want to cross”.

Assistant: “Me neither. Anyway, about that new dare…“.

Platini: “I was hoping you’d forgotten about that”.

Assistant: “No Sir. You know the drill. Mr Lawwell speaks, and we all jump”.

Platini: “Don’t I know it. Go on, give me the bad news. I bet he’s found a way to make me look like a complete moron”.

Assistant: “Mr Lawwell says he dares you to do one simple high-profile thing”.

Platini: [*Gulps*]

Assistant: “He says that he has every confidence that absolutely nothing can go wrong and cause you embarrassment”.

Platini: “Did he? Wow!”.

Assistant: “He did, Sir. Although he did then laugh hysterically for 5 minutes”.

Platini: “Oh no… What is it? Tell me man! What is it?”.

Assistant: “He wants you to appoint Willie Collum as referee for the European Super Cup”

Platini: “MERDE! MERDE! MERDE! MERDE! MERDE! Pass me a pen. I am resigning now…”.



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