You Can’t Beat a Bit of Bully!

Sundays wouldn't be the same without a bit of bull from the MSM
Sundays wouldn’t be the same without a bit of bull from the MSM

Good Afternoon.

Congratulations to Craig Swan of the Daily Record/ Sunday Mail for providing a short case study in filling ‘column inches’ and conjuring up the spectre of a ‘bad guy’ without any real substance to go on.

Dundee United refuse to be bullied into selling striker Nadir Ciftci to Celtic

…screams the headline!

“DEFIANT Dundee United are refusing to be bullied into selling Nadir Ciftci to Celtic.”

Blimey! What have Celtic done to prompt the use of such dramatic language?!

Has Peter Lawwell ‘jetted in’ and beaten up Stephen Thompson in the playground?

Has Ronny Deila ‘swooped’ and called Jackie McNamara names?

Has John Collins ‘spoken about his Champions League aspirations’ and forced Dundee United players and staff to do press-ups on broken glass?


“The Parkhead club are on the trail of the Turk but two bids have been rejected. They are expected to return with another offer after Ciftci’s agent, Pierre van Hooijdonk, spoke about his client fancying a move to Glasgow.”

“That came after the 23-year-old snubbed the chance to move to Wigan even though United had agreed a fee with the League One club.”

“However, MailSport understands United have not been impressed by van Hooijdonk’s comments and won’t be pressurised into a deal.”

Ah I see! So Ciftci’s agent (who happens to be an ex-Celt) has been saying things about his client fancying a move to Celtic.

This is probably rather ‘naughty’, and certainly irritating for United, who still have Ciftci under contract.

But the whereabouts of Celtic’s bad behaviour remains a complete mystery.

As far as the Clumpany can tell, Celtic have bid for the player and not made any public comments. Just like Wigan, who – incidentally – are not accused of doing any ‘bullying’.

Nor are there any actual quotes from United to back up the suggestion. Not even from “sources close to the club”.

“We’ve had a lovely day reading the Sunday Mail, Jim. We’d like to give someone else a chance”

However, the reader is left with the impression of a ‘bullying’ Celtic.

Have you got that? BULLYING!

Quite why Mr Swan would leave open the possibility of creating that impression is a complete mystery…

But I am afraid you’ve missed out on the speedboat, Craig.

“Look at what you could have won”