The Clumpany raised an ethereal eyebrow yesterday when news broke that Sevco had signed late-1980s pop princess Debbie Gibson.
The Clumpany will freely admit that it had to look up her discography for a reminder of her contribution to popular culture.
But there it was. A string of hits in the late 1980s, including the noted toe-tapper ‘Shake Your Love’.
I did wonder whether a 44-year old singer really could do a job in the Scottish Championship next season.
I also wondered quite how this fitted into both the Warbmeister’s Masterplan, and Mr King’s determination to do ‘whatever it takes’ to secure automatic promotion and then challenge in the Premiership.
The Clumpany also pondered the cost of studio time. Albums don’t record themselves you know!
And then there’s the cost of producing an eye-catching video, and the need for a generous promotional budget etc.
But then I reminded myself that Lord Warbington knows best.
The attempt to sign John Eustace suggested that he wanted to have someone to boost the average age of the squad up towards 100.
And of course the Sevco fans could probably do with some new songs to sing.
Yes. Debbie could prove to be a brilliant signing!
So The Clumpany sat back and decided to see how it panned out.
Imagine my shock when I realised that I had got it completely wrong!
It wasn’t the fabulous Debbie that Sevco had signed.
No. IT WAS SOMEONE EVEN MORE UNLIKELY!
It was Jordan Gibson, an 18 year-old striker from Alvechurch FC.
And no. ‘Alvechurch’ isn’t code for ‘Barcelona’.
Alvechurch play in the English Midland League Premier Division, and finished 15th last season. Mr Gibson has never played in their first team.
The Midland League Premier Division sits at tier 9 of the English Football Pyramid. So it’s not so much ‘pyramid’ as ‘underground dungeon’.
Warbo’s acquisition of Gibson is a move so ‘left-field’ that he actually approached him from the right.
Gibson could very turn out to be an absolute gem – unearthed through Warbo’s knowledge of the lower levels of English football.
A gem that the scouting machines of Premier League and English Championship teams have completely overlooked.
Equally, it could be an act of desperation from a man trying to build a squad any way he can, in record time and with very little money to spend.
As ever, time will tell.
Meanwhile, the Record tells us that
Manchester City, eh?
However, the glamour of the headline is undermined somewhat when you actually start reading the article.
Although Wabara is also an England Under-20 cap, he is a free agent (notice a theme here?) after leaving Doncaster Rovers, where he made 50 appearances last season.
Wabara has been around the block (and so can perhaps swap tales of life as an itinerant footballer with Rob Kiernan), having previously played for Ipswich, Blackpool and Oldham.
Interestingly, Doncaster manager Paul Dickov is reported as saying that Wabara left after he and his representatives “expressed a desire to perhaps have a look a little higher“.
Doncaster finished 13th in League One last season, and The Clumpany leaves it to you to decide whether a move to Sevco would indeed be “a little higher”…
The coming week in Sevconia promises to be an interesting one with the deadline for season ticket renewals looming.
It will be interesting to see how far the rhetoric of the King regime and the upbeat narrative of the MSM has persuaded fans to part with their cash.
Maybe this week will finally see the Sevco ‘war chest’ opened, and a genuine marquee signing arrive at Ibrox…
Or maybe not.
Away from Sevconia, it will be good to see the Scottish sides kick off their European campaigns, and The Clumpany wishes them all the very best.
But wherever you go and whatever you do this week, spare a thought for Debbie Gibson.
She could have been on her way back to the Big Time with with the mother of all gigs at Sevco…