Why ‘Clump’?

To be honest, it’s not the most comfortable chair in the world

Good Evening.

People on social media often ask The Clumpany “don’t you ever get fed up of commenting on the Sevco saga? In particular, don’t you ever get fed-up of calling out the media for analysis-free Sevco cheerleading?”.

Actually, that’s a lie.

No one has ever said that.

That’s the gist of what they mean, but it’s usually communicated in somewhat more angry, swear-laden language.

I don’t know what any actual members of the Scottish MSM would like to say to The Clumpany.  That is because (obviously) none of them would ever read – or put any credence upon – the views of an ethereal entity written in the universe’s biggest phantom office block.

And they would certainly never randomly post the 1899 incorporation documents of Rangers FC on Twitter in order to make a (spurious) point, rather than engage in a debate.

People also ask The Clumpany

“How can you live your life like that my dear chap?”.

Again, they never actually frame their query like that. 

Instead they prefer to allege ‘hatred‘ or ‘fear‘, or sometimes to wittily retort about child sexual abuse.

As if that isn’t abhorrent enough, and those affected need reminding about it again and again…

The rhetoric may be melodramatic, but unfortunately for outside observers, the truth about The Clumpany is somewhat less dramatic.

There is a very simple truth behind The Clumpany’s 63k tweets and 60 blogs.

The Clumpany loves the Fitba and thinks it has been skewed out of shape by all manner of factors over the past 25 years or so. 

Many of these factors have been Ibrox-driven and not effectively dealt with by the farce-as-governance that has been the SFA/SPL/SPFL. 

Moreover, The Clumpany is of the firm opinion that the MSM has repeatedly failed to hold anyone to account during this amazing period, and should therefore be criticised.

Imagine training to become a Scottish sports journalist during the early 1990s (or later) and being guaranteed (by a visitor from the future) that the various stories emanating from Ibrox since 2010 onwards would happen

You would most likely think “Bloody Hell! I’m in!!! When do I start?”.

You’d probably be seized by a zeal to make a name for yourself by breaking stories.

Perhaps you’d immediately commit yourself to developing and utilising sources to help you keep on breaking stories. 
And if you were ambitious, you would certainly see stellar journalistic endeavour as the way to get ahead.

But even if you didn’t get the ‘guaranteed tip-off about future developments‘, you would still surely reassure an interview panel about your ability and determination to break stories left, right and centre

Indeed, you would probably convey the impression that it is in your DNA.

In short, you’d try and convince them that you are a journalist.

Of course, the reality that we see in Scotland from day to day bears little relation to any serious model of effective sports journalism. 

Consequently, The Clumpany feels no need to apologise for its ‘obsession‘. Nor does it feel the need to acquire a ‘sense of perspective‘. 

It quite simply is the case that something is still not right about the state of Scottish football. 

And having had the good fortune to be founded in a liberal democracy, The Clumpany quite enjoys availing itself of the rights, freedoms and responsibilities that come with it.

If The Clumpany finds something to be preposterous, or is of a reasonable opinion that the governing bodies or media could do better, it will speak out.

Politely, of course.

As will many others who have been labelled ‘Bampots’, but who simply want to see

  • their favourite sport well-governed;
  • taking place on an unquestionably-level playing field; and 
  • monitored by a fearless media that will confront a story on its own merits and not duck it because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or impair season ticket sales at a particular club.

The suggestion that anyone is ‘obsessed‘ or ‘unable to move on‘ simply because they ask questions and mock what appears to be ‘cruising churnalism‘ is as ludicrous as it is unhelpful to the good governance of the game.

So, all things considered… The Clumpany will…


[And sometimes it will do so while wearing a sombrero…]

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