The Best Bleach in the Universe

Surely “Dave”?

Good Evening.

Just when you thought the latest Sevco Revolution couldn’t get any more exciting, Chris McLaugh-in came up with a truly memorable bit of Sevco-buffing.

This morning, we heard that Sevco had appointed Stewart Robertson – a former director of Motherwell and the SPL – to be their new Managing Director.

“Big deal!” you say.

But no, Chris was on hand this afternoon to break further revelatory tidings…

“@BBCchrismclaug: Spoken to a few people of note within Scottish football who believe that Stewart Robertson is a great get for #Rangers. Big challenges ahead

Well thanks for taking the time to obtain that massive piece of season ticket purchase-inducing news Chris!

Knows people who say nice things about a random executive
Knows people who say nice things about a random football executive

Whatever next?

“Sevco buy new brand of bleach for the Ibrox toilets: ‘Sources confirm it’s the best bleach in the Universe’ reports Chris McLaugh-in”?!

But will the fantastic new Sevco bleach make a nice cocktail?

As we have already seen, NO angle is too obscure, and no detail too trivial to try and make potential Sevco season ticket-buyers feel better about the word.

And haven’t we already heard that guff about ‘senior executive with great track record’ when Graeme Wallace parachuted into Sevconia?

He didn’t exactly end up as a hero did he?

(Inevitable) Taxi for Wallace!
(Inevitable) Taxi for Wallace!

Nevertheless, the upbeat odyssey must continue at all times.

So hats off to the Daily Record for helping Sevconians feel pleased that shareholders had just told one of the world’s wealthiest men – who is owed money, and who has a grip on Sevco’s assets – to get stuffed.

“Mike Ashley’s beaten at ballot box as Rangers shareholders boot out his loan repayment bid”

Beaten? Booted out?

Aye, right…

“I’ve just been ‘beaten’!”

The result of the (non-binding) vote to repay HBM was closer than might have been expected. However the answer to HBM was still ‘no’, and it remains to be seen whether he will let this one pass.

Or whether he will hire enough lawyers to make even the most hardy Sevconian wince, and then go to the courts to insist upon a rendering unto Caesar

Pondering his next move...
Pondering his next move…

The Clumpany has a very strong feeling that HBM will pursue the £5m whatever it takes.

In the meantime, we can expect more hilarious Sevco positivity from the MSM. It is almost as if there is a competition going.

Forget the Championship, the “Lamb Munchers’ Super League” is the most competitive and exciting league in the world.

Roast lamb for a win, lamb kebab for a draw. In the event of a tie at the end of the season, the Churnalist who has said “yes Mr Traynor” most times  will win the competition.


The ‘Brown Brogue Trophy’ – which was specially trodden in lamb droppings while worn by Walter Smith – is the prize that every sports journalist in Scotland wants to win!

And the battle for it looks set to be utterly nauseating.

As worn by the Blessed Cardigan
As worn by the Blessed Cardigan


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