An Epic Tale

Good Afternoon.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.”

Charles Dickens (“A Tale of Two Cities”)

Our hero gulped, experiencing a mixture of nerves and giddy excitement.

He pushed opened the door and entered the room, which was full of expectant journalists.

Our hero couldn’t have known, but – to a man – the journalists were holding their breath, consumed with anticipation at what was about to happen.

What fantastic tale of bright hope, unlimited funds, and conquest was about to unfold before them?

Were they about to witness the dawn of a golden age?

A moment about which their grandchildren would one day speak in hushed tones?

Our hero walked forward with a growing sense of purpose.

And an increased feeling of confidence.

He glanced around and drew inspiration from the treasured images which surrounded him.

The bust of Bill Struth. Ah dear Bill. So dignified. So staunch!

The Cup Winners’ Cup winning-team! Heroes to a man!

Ally McCoist! Our hero could never forget Ally’s amazing goals.

Walter Smith! The Blessed Cardigan! The man with a stare that could inspire multiple title-wins!

John Greig! Now there was a player. The greatest Ranger of them all!

Nine-in-a-row! Happy, all-conquering times!

Oh the memories! Oh the special times!

Our hero paused, reflecting upon the awesome majesty of it all.

But then – unexpectedly –  there was a moment of unease. A brief recollection that in recent times things had not been as they should.

The natural order of things had been disturbed. Rangers – yes Rangers  had fallen upon hard times.

And it was not acceptable.

But then, as unease threatened to turn into doubt, that bust of old Bill Struth caught our hero’s eye.

And that was all that was needed. Inspiration was drawn! Hope was renewed!

That bright future was coming and our hero was the man to tell the world about it!

…And having finally arrived at his desk, Chris Jack turned on his PC and started writing more epic emotive guff

Read it and weep, Clumpaneers!



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