Fifteen… is the Magic Number

“Are we supposed to pay His Big Mikeness for this shirt?”

Good Evening.

So the Warburton/Weir appointment is official!

And boy has today served up some journalistic effluent. Hats off to Chris Jack  and Matt Lindsay for producing the most gushing nonsense, declaring:

“Now it could be the partnership made in blue heaven that can get the Bears bouncing”

“His [Warburton’s ] meticulous, modern philosophy has won rave reviews in the Capital”


“The arrival of one of English football’s hottest managerial properties in Scotland”

15 a

It was getting to the point where the newspapers were simply saying random stuff to create excitement about Warburton. The Clumpany was almost certain that we were about to find out that he had built the Egyptian Pyramids, and had secretly stood in for Neil Armstrong during the Apollo 11 mission.

Indeed, there was one particularly scary moment when I looked in the mirror and realised that Mark Warburton *is* the Clumpany! He’s THAT good!

15 b

However, the best bit of the Sevconian day was the press conference this afternoon to ‘unveil’ Warburton.

There was a wonderful moment when a beaming Baron Bouffant invited the new Sevco manager to make his (rather clunky) way in through to the door to be introduced to the salivating press pack.


[NB thanks to @adrianhunter for the clip!]

15 c

The Clumpany could have sworn that it had been briefly transported to a parallel universe wherein the new Dr Who was being introduced. Because when Paul Murray acclaimed the “FIFTEENTH MANAGER OF RANGERS*” it reminded me of the overblown programme wherein the BBC had introduced us to THE TWELFTH DOCTOR, Peter Capaldi.

15 d

The ‘number’ of the Doctor was utterly irrelevant. Capaldi was the new guy and – while not being Patrick Troughton – we could still look forward to seeing his work.

Similarly, the number of the Sevco manager was utterly irrelevant. Warburton is something undeniably fresh – if unknown – and it is going to be interesting to see what he makes of the job.

15 e

But of course, in truth, The Clumpany is talking hogwash. On planet Sevconia – and in the media – that magic number 15 means absolutely everything. And it has to be mentioned.

It was so important that it had clearly been fed to the MSM as part of the spin ahead of the announcement. And you don’t need to be a genius to work out why!

When an asserted history is the only history you have, and when you want People to (literally) buy into a vision of the future that looks remarkably like the past, you are going to assert it for all you are worth!

15 i

And fair play to them. Because to those of us who refuse to bow to The Lie, it’s very funny to see.

But spare a thought for ‘interim manager’ Stuart McCall. Not only is he left uncounted in the canon of ‘Rangers*’ managers, he also misses out to Warburton for the distinction of being their first ever English manager.

And that is despite having provided some of the most hilarious moments of any Sevco manager. Especially if you are a Motherwell fan.

Nae luck Stuart!

15 h

As you would expect, the media compliantly lapped up the spectacle and asked no difficult questions (such as “No really, Mark. How much money is there actually available to spend…”).

Nor did they ask about the Amazing Vanishing Chairman who (once again) was nowhere to be seen. However, they did at least manage to engage in a charming piece of performance art as they all rushed to the front to prostrate themselves before shake the hand of the new Sevconian superstar.

15 g

The Clumpany fully expects a complementary media campaign to kick in, with subliminal “15” messaging cropping up all over the place to reinforce the message that this is the ‘same’ club as Rangers.

Well, The Clumany has got news for you Level5 PR! There’ll be no subliminal advertising on Clumpany property!



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