Shocking Developments

“Don’t act like you’re not impressed”

Good Evening.

Hold on to your hats!

After the frantic merry-go-round of managerial ‘recruitment’ ‘activity’ over the past couple of days, things have reached an astonishing crescendo at Sevco.

Hats off to the BBC for breaking what is surely one of the most astounding Ibrox-related stories of recent years.

Forget EBTs and side-letters.

Forget administration.

Forget the miracle of ‘Rangers’ ‘surviving’ liquidation.

In fact, you can forget about all other sports stories.

FIFA scandal? Pah!

Doping allegations in athletics? Yawn!

No, a really big story finally broke today, and The Clumpany considers itself lucky to have witnessed this truly remarkable development.

Brace yourselves…

Alex McLeish has yet to be approached about Rangers job

“Former Rangers manager Alex McLeish has not been contacted about a return to lead Rangers, BBC Scotland has learned”

Bloody Hell!

Gutted by the lack of an approach from Sevco

The entire basis of this contender for a Pulitzter prize are comments from McLeish’s former assistant at Genk, and former Rangers player, Alex Rae.

Rae said he would welcome an opportunity to return to Rangers with McLeish in a managerial capacity, but admitted he was unaware if McLeish had been approached as yet”

Fortunately for the interested observer, Rae doesn’t hold back with his insights:

“Rangers said something about a foreign manager the other day – I’m not sure that’s the road Rangers need to go down, but that’s just my view”

“They might have a medium to long-term plan in place which hopefully, sooner, rather than later we’ll have a better idea of.”

So the upshot of all of that is that Rae knows nothing, would like to work with McLeish again, but has no idea whether Sevco have been in touch with him.

The Clumpany wonders whether the BBC website is offered counselling having been through the trauma of carrying such absolute guff.

Alex Rae knows many things. Including that “gates don’t lie”. An incorporated entity can compete for trophies… And be liquidated.

In fairness to Mr Rae, he did make one valid point which keeps being overlooked during the ‘debate’ about ‘contenders’ to take over at Ibrox.

He said that discussion about the managerial position was “a bit disrespectful, because Stuart [McCall] is still currently the manager”.

Hallelujah! An outbreak of dignity and decorum in Sevconia!

Still ‘Top Dog’. For now…

Elsewhere today, the Record’s threadbare list of the “runners and riders” to replace McCall took a further pounding with the news that Chequebook-Deploying Managerial Genius Dick Advocaat had signed a one-year deal to stay as manager of Sunderland.

Yesterday the Record had said that the chances of Advocaat taking the Sevco job were “slim”, but that he “would be tempted”.

It looked like absolute hogwash, not least because the man himself had ruled it out on 19 May. And so it proved to be.

Nevertheless, Advocaat has served his purpose for the Record and Sevco PR machine.

His name has been used to make Sevconians feel a little bit better about the prospects for their ‘club’.

Well played Mr Advocaat!

The Clumpany is not sure whether it will be able to sleep tonight, given the prospect of further exciting things not happening in Sevconia tomorrow.

Who knows, if we are really lucky, we might get the hugest of all huge stories.

That an approach hasn’t been made to Walter Smith.


Stay tuned!

Brace yourselves



The Clumpany eventually managed to calm down and get to sleep last night. Only to be awoken early this morning by the sound of the ‘Absolutely Nothing Happening’ alarm going off in Clumpany Towers.

“What earth-shattering news hadn’t broken?” I hear you ask?

Well, astonishingly

“Rangers managerial target McInnes backed to honour his long-term contract with Aberdeen”

“Derek McInnes was today tipped to spurn the potential advances of his former club Rangers and complete his rebuilding job at Pittodrie”

Throwing a massive curve-ball by staying put!
Throwing a massive curve-ball by staying put!

This must be a career highlight for Matthew Lindsay of the Herald/Evening Times!

What glorious tidings!

There’ll be no awkward silences at the water coolers of Scotland today, as everyone immediately launches into dissecting the implications of this jaw-dropping revelation.

According to Matthew, McInnes “is one of the red-hot favourites to be appointed Gers manager”.


In whose away-with-the-fairies, delusion-addled mind?

The comments of Aberdeen player Mark Reynolds have provided the ‘basis’ for this ‘story’.

“He [McInnes] is looking to build something and I think it would be hard for him to walk away from what he has started and not be there to reap the rewards of the groundwork he has put in”.

“He has tied all of his players up to long-term deals and he himself has committed to a new long-term contract as well.

So there you have it. McInnes has a good job, with a promising future, at a club which isn’t a complete basket case. So he isn’t going anywhere.


A bringer of non-news

Reynolds also takes time out to ‘back’ Stuart McCall to remain as Sevco manager. Although the nature of his remarks makes you wonder whether he is talking about the same McCall that the rest of us have been watching at Ibrox during the past few months.

“He did a great job. Everybody is saying he fell short because the ultimate job was to get them back up, but he steadied the ship and got them playing nice football”

“But that is all he could have done given the restrictions that were placed on him. I think he proved again that he is one of the top managers in Scotland and is more than capable of doing a job like that.”

Nice football?

One of the top managers in Scotland?

It seems we are living in the Age of the Perpetual Sevco Shark-Jump!

BREAKING! The Fonz isn’t going to be the next manager of Sevco either

Enjoy the rest of the day, but be sure to stay glued to the Internet, radio and newspapers.

There’s sure to be some further exciting Sevconian inertia before very long.


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