Mud-Wrestling For Sevco

“I’m the King of Dignity!”
Good Morning.

Here we go…

Fresh from committing themselves to another year in the Championship, with no long term plan in place, and no sign of a warchest with which to crush ALL opposition on Earth and beyond, Sevco has deployed its PR operation. 

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s an ‘unlikely story’

As mentioned last night, we have already heard about how much money ‘the game’ will ‘lose’ as a result of Sevco continuing its holiday in Petrofacville.

And Leigh Griffiths was apparently helpfully disappointed not to see Sevco gain promotion. So much so that his anguish level has been upgraded to “gutted” this morning…  

Absolutely gutted

But the PR operation has now really cranked up a gear.

Remember folks, this is the mighty Charles Green Enterprises FC, and it is in the hands of ‘Real Rangers Men’. Good news must be made available to the fan base at all times

[Oh yes, and enthusiasm must be drummed up for buying as-yet unpriced season tickets for second-tier football].

The turd-polishing industry hasn’t yet perfected a technique by which anyone would have the brass neck to start running further stories about Sevco being linked to potential signings. 

So we will have to remain content to laugh at the story of Celtic being in a “tug of war” with them over Hibs’ Scott Allan.

For now. 

I am sure tales of potential multi-million pound signings are just around the corner.

Instead, the Moonbeam Industry has been turning its attention to the prestigious Sevco manager’s job.

Yesterday saw quite a bit of media sympathy for McCall, with Matt Lindsay saying he should say.

But that was never likely to get Sevconian hearts quickening.

So last night we were regaled with the tale that 

Rangers management target Mark Warburton declares ‘huge respect’ for Ibrox club fuelling speculation he’ll replace Stuart McCall

Apparently former Brentford boss had

“dropped the biggest hint yet that he had been lined up to replace Stuart McCall as Rangers manager”  

“Yes, I really want to go to Sevco”

And it gets more exciting:

“Record Sport understands Warburton and former Rangers captain Davie Weir have held preliminary discussions with the Championship club but they are not out and out favourites to take over”

“Understands” eh?

What the story actually amounted to was Warburton (who has also been linked to Sheffield United and QPR in recent times) saying he had “huge respect for the club” and then offering some more warm words that would send Sevconians to bed feeling a bit better about the world.

“I am well aware of the tradition and history of the club so I would never be anything other than absolutely respectful of a club of that stature.”

Issues such as why Warburton would want to touch the Scottish Championship via a club with well-know financial troubles remained unanswered. 

Funny that…

[Update: 2 June 2015, 6:30pm This evening, Warburton is now saying that he has has an “initial, informalmeeting with Sevco, but there is also a suggestion of interest from Burnley]

This morning however, things got really serious.

Stephen McGowan of the Scottish Daily Mail brought us the astonishing ‘news’ that  

Rangers board put Aberdeen boss Derek McInnes on wish list to be next manager”  


Derek McInnes? 

Cheers Sevco!

The guy who has just led a resurgent Aberdeen through their two best season in a long time, and who is set to have a (hopefully better) crack at Europa League qualification in a few weeks’ time?

That Derek McInnes is on a “wish list”?

Good grief.

As you could almost certainly predict, the articles itself is a complete dog’s breakfast

We are told that “Stuart McCall will meet Ibrox directors for discussions in the coming days, with sources insisting no final decision has been made on the interim boss’s future“.

So no decision has been made. 

And yet

“Sportsmail understands Rangers directors were in advanced talks with an unnamed candidate in the event of the club being promoted to Scotland’s top tier” 

He could have won “Manager of the Year” next season…

So they were going to ditch McCall anyway, had they been promoted?

But it doesn’t end there.

“Former Nottingham Forest, Derby and Preston manager Billy Davies is also desperate for the job”

Is he aye?!

But the undoubted highlight of this tsunami of good tidings is that 

“McInnes is also being strongly discussed in the Rangers boardroom”

Unsurprisingly, no contact has actually been made and 

“Rangers* have yet to establish if he would seriously consider dropping down to manage in the Scottish Championship after leading the Dons into Europe for a second successive season. Or what the compensation bill might be”

So it’s not exactly a done deal is it? Or a vague possibility in the wildest dreams of even the most optimistic of Sevconian cheerleaders.

Those “strong discussions” about McInnes in the Sevco boardroom
Is anyone actually taken in by this stuff? Would anyone actually become more inclined to buy a season ticket on the back of such half-baked spin? 
[*Pause for tumbleweed*]
So where next?

This awesome ‘good news’ momentum has to be maintained. Indeed, it must be accelerated.

I have no doubt that we are very close to the Evening Times running a story that Pep Guardiola, Carlo Ancelotti, Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger, Jose Mourinho, Luis Enrique and a host of other top-name mangers are going to mud-wrestle outside the (open for sales) Ibrox Ticket office for the ‘honour’ of managing Sevco to Champions League glory.

You read it here first.

And if that doesn’t work, the Record will tell us that this man is going to ‘return’ to ‘Rangers*’

This truly is the time for ‘chequebook management’
Now that WOULD be preposterous.